19 December 2008




I'm getting so tired of this tug of war.



I know Nicole is right. She is my best friend, how can she not be? But I don't believe I will find what she thinks I need until I find a stable place in my life. This is what I think I deserve...

I think.

I'm sick of being sad. I'm exhausted by it. It gets to the point where my peaks in happiness only last a matter of hours. Hour by hour happiness. A lot of the time I'm just trying to convince myself that I'm overreacting to this much disappointment.

I want to be happy so bad.

This tugging is killing me.



No wonder I can't sleep.




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