I am made of blue sky + hard rock

So, I'm sitting in the Panera Bread I worked at when I was a sophomore in highschool.



I remember hating is so much, the second job I ever had.
Even the management was quitting because the conditions
were so bad.

The day I quit I couldn't even go in because I couldn't
stand another day of my boss talking about what underwear
I was wearing. I had Nicole call and pretend to be me.



They said good luck with life.



I had to come here to use the internet. My car has
officially broken down for the second time, and now
it's going to be fixed by a professional (sorry dad.)
For now, I'm hauling my ass around in one of my dad's
trucks. Riding around in that thing makes me feel
invincible.

My stress factors are really rising and for good reason.



What the hell am I doing with my life?



I think I have waking up and thinking that every
morning since the beginning of the summer. It's like
this big black cloud looming over my head and follows
me around all day until I go to sleep. Actually, I
think it feels a lot more like this-



Except imagine it animated, floating around. Consuming.

I know I can be better than this. I know I can do
a lot of good. But I look around and everyone is
already DOING IT. What is my deal? Why can't I
just pull it together.

(See? This is the pig pen dust again.)